Friday, November 2, 2012

Hand-me-down Halloween and a Hurricane

My the time is flying! M keeps my days full and only recently have I had the energy to stay up past putting him to bed around 8pm.

Our local Halloween celebrations have been postponed due to Hurricane Sandy. I live in NJ just to the west of NYC and we are EXTREMELY lucky. We have power when millions do not, we didn't have flooding because we are just enough inland and very few limbs fell off our trees. I feel so very fortunate and absolutely heart broken for those who have lost so much. We have vacationed with friends at the shore for the last several years (except this year due to M's arrival) and so many places are destroyed beyond recognition.

I also lived in NYC for many years and its whereI met my Brooklynite husband...and it too has been ravaged by Sandy. The stories of loss, devastation and helplessness have brought me to my knees. If I didn't have Maxwell to care for I would be there doing whatever I could. Instead I am putting my money where my hands can't help.

It's been a week of ups and downs...on one hand every day with M brings me so much joy, punctuated by heartache of what I see Sandy has done and living through another holiday without William & Ethan.

Just after Halloween two years ago I went shopping with my Mom. I was pregnant with my twins and Mom was determined to buy them their first Halloween outfits. There were these adorable jack o' lantern sweatsuits on sale. We picked out a size we thought might fit. Just about a month later they were born and gone and the sweatsuits stuffed in a bin that went straight to the attic.

That bin was pulled out when M was born because it had the very few baby things we kept. I've debated what to do with those pumpkin sweatsuits. When it came down to it I wanted a cute picture of M to share with friends and family. Those sweatsuits were M's size...there was part of me that wanted to keep them in the bin. Then the thought popped in to my head...if my twins had lived M would wear their hand-me-downs. Why not let him wear one of the sweatsuits? After all, it is an unworn hand-me-down. And when it comes down to it, seeing my living son brought me (and my family and friends) more joy than pain.

Seriously...M is one adorable little pumpkin!